Yearning for the Achche Din? Look to your past...!

Nostalgia drives us!

♫ अलबेले दिन प्यारे, मेरे बिछड़े साथ सहारे, हाय कहाँ गये… 

आँखों के उजियारे, मेरी सुनी रात के तारे, हाय कहाँ गये… 

कोई लौटा दे मेरे बीते हुए दिन, बीते हुए दिन वो हाय, प्यारे पल छिन... कोई लौटा दे मेरे बीते हुए दिन... ♪

Over the past few years, there has been lot of brouhaha over the much anticipated Achche Din... some good days, promised by politicians. While most are bickering over the belied expectations there are more of us recreating the Achche din on our own.

Nostalgia plays an important part in our lives. We just love to relive our past. What else explains the numerous Alumni meets happening across our lives, throughout the year?

There was a time when the word ‘Alumni’ denoted the group of classmates from one’s alma mater - mostly from school and college, now all that has changed.

Groups, start with WhatsApp, the social media cross-platform messaging application, which has virtually revolutionized communication. We have groups for friends from school, college, sports team, literary club, socializing club, the café club, kitty party club,  colleagues at current work place, former colleagues and of course multiple permutations for family and extended families, just to name a few.

These then get extended to catching up on memories from the past. I have been part of an Alumni meet of school mates, most of us meeting after 30 years. We had a wonderful time regaling memories of the innocent age, of naughty pranks and errant homework to strict teachers and playful memories. That was such a enriching experience that we thought we should meet more often. Though it never happened at the frequency we expected it to, but we were all connected through the daily whatsapp messages, sharing jokes, news, happenings and lots of friendly banter.

Well, that’s not all, I was soon participating in my literary club’s Alumni meet, a first of its kind in 49 years of the club’s existence. A meet-up, where members from different eras, met and exchanged memories of a different kind of achche din, had dinner and dispersed. No, we didn’t end with that – we revived the club, brought in new blood, created more groups and more meet-ups started happening. Did someone say - Jaane kahan gaye woh din, well… not really, there is always a repeat. The Golden Jubilee is round the corner.

Among the other active groups that I am part of is the club cricket team. I played with them for over a decade - some exciting cricket. There were loads of fun - lots of wins and losses. Most importantly - tons of memories. The not-so-ageing cricketers meet often too. 
Some of the best memories of growing up years however were the time spent with local friends at the dingy Irani café in the colony. We now have a ‘Good Luck Café’ whatsapp group, named after the erstwhile joint. Yes, we too meet often, an alumnus of sorts. We discuss everything on earth from sports to politics to movies and careers, over numerous chai and unending 'whiff of fresh air'.

Not to forget the exclusive and elite groups of ex colleagues - some funny, some intellectual, some boring - but mostly bitchy!

While the number of whatsapp groups run into dozens for some, for some it’s just a handful – but we all believe in the adage – No man is an island. We thrive in groups and the social activities are part of our everyday life, may be the degree of involvement varies.

I started this nostalgic journey with... ♫ Koyi lautaa de mere, beete huye din,beete huye din wo mere pyaare pal chhin... ♪ ~ heart touching lyrics by Shailendra for the 1964 Hindi film 'Door Gagan Ki Chhaon Mein', made immortal by Kishore Kumar's mellifluous voice. Re-lived through the unending greets, meets, get-togethers, parties, picnics and more!

So what are you waiting for – Achche Din? Go create one yourself - go nostalgic - walk down the memory lane! Who knows, you might even end up meeting your first crush! On that note I sign off with the lines… ♪ कहीं करती होगी, वो मेरा इंतज़ार... जिसकी तमन्ना में, फिरता हूँ बेक़रार…! ♫

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Pics courtesy: Internet

It's Strange... how we treat strangers strangely!

A few weeks ago, on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I and my friend were sitting in an Irani cafe sipping tea and having an animated conversation. A man sitting two tables away was watching us, I didn't notice him. After about half hour, as we got up to leave, he just waved at me and in a friendly tone said... "Hello, I am Narender, an Executive Engineer with the Electricity Dept, nice to meet you". and I responded, "Venkat, into Advertising and branding, glad to meet you". He waved bye, and we left. In my frequent visits to the cafe later, I never saw him or heard about him.

That was one nice encounter and reminded me of another incident. This was in January this year, my cousin from abroad had visited us. One morning on a walk at the local park, we ran into a bunch of five middle-aged men. They were having a hearty laugh while walking. My cousin mad eye contact and instantaneously in a boisterous tone said "Good Morning gentlemen!" They simply ignored his gesture and walked ahead. He looked at me asked, “don't people reciprocate here?” Well, I said, not really. We are made of a different thread. We don't meet and greet strangers. But we respect their space. He wasn’t convinced by my reply and I left it there.

Over the next few days, I tried looking into the eyes of strangers and was surprised to elicit a few smiles. Somehow, there was this strange feeling of how we treat strangers.

No, we don't shy away from striking conversations with total strangers on long train journeys or sharing few laughs with unknown people at the street corners. We, Indians have an uncanny knack to help people. Totally unasked for advice comes from strangers. Ever seen the number of times people knock on your car window to tell you that the rear door is not shut properly? The umpteen times two-wheeler drivers are cautioned about an open side-stand or the loosely dangling pillion’s long garment getting stuck in the wheel? Waiting for the traffic signal you find the biker beside you telling you to get the air checked in your wheel or inform of a flat tire. Numerous occasions we just stop by at a playground and appreciate an unknown kid with a “well played”! There are endless examples of how we are concerned about the well being of strangers, of humans in general.

Strange are our ways, we are different from the West. We don’t believe in exchanging pleasantries, but we show concern to the strangers, we are kind to them. Well, almost always!

No, we don’t greet the cabbie - the autorickshaw wallah or the street vendor with “how are you, hope you are having a great day?!” But we do address strangers with an Anna, Amma, Bhai, Bhaiya, Sir or even Boss. We respect them. Don’t we?

The advent of social media has brought a revolutionary change in how we perceive strangers. We don’t mind befriending unknown people – gender, age, social strata, nothing matters. We just get friendly, chat, share an opinion, pass remarks, comment and even fight. But there is still harmony. Ideological differences apart, strangers do get along well on social media. I have made quite a few friends through Twitter, whom I have subsequently met and bonded with, as though I have known them for ages.

There are pitfalls of this new-age friendship too. You get easily perturbed with the unwanted comments or unwarranted advice. There may be people who irritate you to the extent of disturbing your mental equilibrium. But then the World Wide Web does give enough opportunity to Mute, Block and Unfriend people. You can simply walk away from the strangers and continue your quest to explore the social medium through the eyes of more strangers.

So, here is something we can do as a social experiment:

The next time you are on a bike and see a stranger driving towards you from the opposite direction, just wave at him/her, sport a big smile and say a cheerful Hello! You will leave the person baffled for the entire day. You will surely leave them thinking - Do I know him/her? Have we met? An acquaintance? A former colleague? A distant relative? A Facebook friend? Who was that?

Welcome to the strange world of connectivity – Welcome to the strange world of strangers behaving strangely!

 

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PIctures courtesy: Internet

Assumptions! ...and I assume, will never end!

Oxford dictionary defines Assumption as a noun: A thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof. 

So an assumption is basically a statement that is feigned to be true and from which a conclusion can be drawn. Every day, across the world around us, we are victims to various assumptions. Now don't just say I am assuming that, check it out - you'd be baffled (oh no, another assumption) as much.

Let me take you to the root of this post, and why I am not assuming that assumptions are not fading away too soon!

Recently, an old relative of my father passed away, his nonagenarian paternal aunt (my grand aunt). As is the custom with Hindus (and more so with TamBrahms), my father - being from the same clan - had to observe a 10-day theetu (Tamil for exclusion or social isolation). The same obviously extended to me. Unfortunately, the death went uninformed for six days. Yes, you heard it right, in the communication age where technology has enabled mobile connectivity to every nook and corner of the world and instant messaging makes news spread fast, 6 days of no news is quite a surprise. None of the family members, my father's brothers or sisters or cousins got in touch. Each one assumed that someone or the other would have updated us. I am not going into details of what transpired in those six days. It’s disheartening, to say the least.

So, there we go, that is just one incident. I realised (not assumed) that almost every bit of happening in the social media revolves around assumptions. Most 'Breaking News' on TV is riddled with assumptions. Most relationships are made or broken by assumptions.

Most times we assume about what is going on in someone’s mind. We take it for granted to assume why one behaves thus and we do so mostly based on our imagination or bitter-sweet experiences. Likewise, most of us simply put a reason to why things happen as they happen and believe it to be fact, actually ignoring the fact, that it is just another assumption. 

For a human, judging others is the biggest of assumptions. In a majority of cases, our assumptions may not be wrong. The reason is we make quite a few assumptions for a single incident. We attribute various motivations for a person's attitude or action. Eventually, we tend to justify ourselves with the incorrect assumptions as the truth. We all make assumptions that can sometimes make or mar lives, some are flimsy while some could be a relationship or even life-threatening.

So, coming to the question… why do we assume? I read somewhere that human nature forms its understanding based on what’s happening psychologically within rather than on facts. We often tend to make judgments based on emotions, beliefs, expectations, and wishes. We fail to understand that our inner self is painting the way we see and understand the outer world, thus assumptions are formed and distorting things for us. Assumptions are only addictive and cannot be waned away easily. It ruins our rational thinking, practical approach and above all creates problems for everyone.

Is there a way to get rid of these assumptions? Can there be a way to base our understanding on facts? There are two ways to define or differ assumptions. Either assume things by observing factual information or do one’s own fact-checking, the choice is clear.

There is an old joke that goes: “when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME”. If only jumping to conclusions based on assumptions were to be made an Olympic sport, we sure would have Gold medals for hundred years to come… with that random assumption, I conclude this rant by repeating what I started off with - ‘Assumptions… and I assume will never end'!

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Pic courtesy: Internet

Can we start Today?

Mourn the dead, but first celebrate life!

Exactly two weeks after my emotion ridden post on relationships (read here), I am back to writing about something that is almost similar and at the same time equally different.

Last week saw the death of a superstar actress and also the attainment of sadgathi of a pontiff - a Seer - a much revered Paramaguru. While I followed the posts on the tragic news of the actress through the social media overdose (I watch very little of TV news), it was the passing away of the Acharyan that disturbed me. 

I am quite a religious person and was one of the first to 'share' the news with many of my friends through WhatsApp groups. I said my silent prayers and reflected on the life and times of the Kanchi Mutt Peethadhipati HH Sri Jayendra Saraswati Swamigal. I read at length his contribution to society, social and religious upliftment and the educational institutions run under his aegis. I kept my thoughts private.

I have been a big fan of Indian cinema and Bollywood has a huge influence on me - it's no secret that Hindi retro music rules my life (more here). Having said that, I did follow the news of the public outpouring of grief at the death of the diva - Sridevi.

As the Editor of a private weekly newsletter, circulated in a group of over 100 literary club alumni, I get to oversee the publishing of the club's activities and also curate columns from its members. One  article in the last week's edition raised a few eyebrows. A tribute to the heroine by a columnist was not the subject of debate, the inspiring Spiritual Guru not finding a mention in the columns of the Weekly was queried. It's a different matter that a club that debates in a formal forum also settles differences in its informal forums through debate. 

One of the key takeaways from the interactions on the above was when a member in the forum shared an article that was titled: "Why we mourn for celebrity deaths" - It explained the intimacy of the passing of public figures.

There were some pertinent points discussed in the article. It spoke about how we revisit their art -- watch an old song on YouTube, rewatch a favourite film, reread a beloved book. How we wonder why we are grieving about someone we never even met and revisit the memories they gave us. We wonder if our grief ought to be so intense given that we didn't really know them and there is so much else in the world to grieve about. It also answered why is it that we mourn the deaths of celebrities we didn't know personally.

Well, I am not going into that part here. I am actually digressing a bit to understand Why we need to celebrate Life!

That's when I did more reading. I decided to research the internet and ended up finding exactly what I wanted... On why people procrastinate celebrating life to another day. 

Let me share a few interesting pointers I found...

“I can’t wait until retirement. Then I’ll really enjoy life.”

“Once I get this project finished I’ll be able to spend more time enjoying my family.”

“Money issues are putting stress on our relationship” 

“As soon as I lose some weight I’ll get out and enjoy life more.”

“When I get this book project out of the way, I can finally do what I want to do.”

“If only I had more money, I could enjoy life more”

“I can’t wait until the weekend. Then I’ll have a lot more time for me.”

So, why can't we live our everyday lives, with whatever we have now,  as a celebration rather than wait for a future, which is not in our control?

Can we not have fun today? Watch that animation movie with our kids? Attend that fun session with college grads? A chill out evening with your best buddies at the local bar? Go on a Holiday to an exotic location? or more! Exercise, jog, run, eat, sleep, write - do whatever that makes you happy, today!

So where do we start? How about Today? Do an activity now, do another tomorrow, pick one the third day... keep doing things you enjoy...!

I did too... After contemplating for almost a decade, I decided to fight the flab, and yes have been fairly successful in my endeavour - I shed quite some kilos in about 3 months now. 

Then I decided to revive my writing - while I am at this blog, I have also embarked on my D Project - more on this another day!

For now, let's celebrate life - Our Life!

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Pic courtesy: Internet

The search continues...

The flight was to take off at 3.45 pm… The late winter afternoon chill in the North Indian city was not permeating inside the plane. A sharp ray of sunlight pierced through the drawn up shades. He was seated 20 minutes early in an entirely unoccupied row and was looking at the deserted tarmac pondering at the day’s events, no not just the day… he seemed to travel back in time.

It had been over 12 hours since he woke up to catch the early morning flight to reach this old world city.

That morning!

The 3.00 am alarm, the warm shower and coffee later it was an hour by cab to the glitzy South Indian International Airport. He walked through the security check with just a book in hand and the two hour long flight soon took off at 6.30 am. The poignant day unfolded in a city he was returning to exactly after 26 years, to the date. The landscape had changed, the highway from the Airport winded in almost into the city, before taking a detour. The air smelt different, the soil, of whatever was visible away from the concrete-topped-roads, was red. The jacket barely helped keep warm from the January cold. It hardly seemed like 10.00 am when he landed at the relative’s place. Reminiscences of childhood memories took over. It was mostly nostalgia, some sketchy recollections and some lost opportunities to connect. Hunger couldn’t wait and a quick lunch later it was back to the airport for the return journey.

The Thoughts!

So, back in the plane, looking out at the tarmac it was a silent period of waiting for the take off to happen. He was soon lost in thought… Not just the day… but the past few decades… Of people who walked along – the human bonding… friends, relatives, acquaintances… Life at large… …

As the big bird soared, he looked out at the ground below that made the contours visible in miniature… large expanse of uninhabited greenery, rivers, mountains, dry lands… the intermittently dotted towns with signs of human existence through man-made changes to the landscape. Somehow the eyes drooped and the sub conscious took over.

Over a quarter century ago…!

They were both sipping tea having just alighted from the train. It was almost sub-zero temperature – thick fog made visibility beyond a couple of feet impossible. Sunrise was still an hour away. In their early twenties, they were much energetic and the walk turned into a jog. The child like enthusiasm was more to do with the holy town they were both in. It was the place they were born; the cousins had last met as teenagers.

It would be another three hours before the next bus journey takes them to the royal city for a wedding. For now it was catching up time on future plans. While both were extroverts and gregarious, the younger one was less brash and came with his South Indian inhibitions, the elder one was quite a bubbly character, more of a born salesman and one he made a good career out of. They both had a common interest – music. They sang well, the elder was more mesmerizing, an instant hit in any get-together and was the life and soul with his melodious renditions. The younger one was a reluctant sales guy but an effervescent team player. They both spent the next two days together at the family wedding and were looking forward to carrying forward the bonding.

Soon they went their ways – The senior stayed in the North, got married in a few years, had a checkered career in sales, moved to different cities, didn’t make a fortune but won hearts with his ever increasing popularity as a soulful singer. The other cousin returned to his South Indian home and made a career in media, a family man – he stayed with his parents. He got married and grew up the corporate ladder. There was late career changes in both their lives, even as they both were now doting parents to teenage single kids.

Technology, they say has made the world a smaller place, bridging distances hitherto reachable in days, through instant messaging and virtual hand-holdings over video calls. Somehow the only contact the two had was through a social media platform – wishing birthdays through text, ‘liking’ family pictures and shared poetry. The bonding was lost in the growing up years – years of making a mark in the rat-race.

Everything seemed oh-so-made-for-social-media perfect life until the unusual phone call came. Yes, “you heard it right – he left us”…!

That was when he took that morning flight to be at the relative’s place to share their grief. The elder cousin, almost his age, had passed away less than 72 hours ago. It was easier holding back tears than consoling the bereaved family. Reminiscences of childhood memories could not fill the void. Nostalgia is not always a sweet thing, recollections and some lost opportunities to connect only made the years gone by miserable. He just closed his eyes momentarily!  

Jolted out of the tired slumber was the landing gear hitting the tarmac with a huge thud… Yes, two hours had passed… The visibility outside was fine, but the moisture had formed a thin film that just blurred the vision temporarily. He wiped his eyes and felt the heaviness in the heart that failed to get an answer… Is death the true meaning of life…?

The search for answers continues... Life goes on...!


----------Pic courtesy: Internet-------------

In Remembrance!

If Cricket is Religion... Ashes is it's most revered celebration!

Day of Reckoning: Thursday November 23, 2017: Gabba, Brisbane

Cricket's greatest rivalry is back. We in India will wake up earlier than usual on Test match days this winter to witness the best form of the game. Two debutant Ashes skippers Steve Smith and Joe Root will dish out some exciting fare for the World to watch.

In the past, Australia have been ruthless against England in Brisbane and Perth, especially in the past 3 decades. The first Test will be no different. The hosts will surely get the head start. I am keenly looking forward to the 2nd Test at Adelaide Oval, which I presume will see some challenge from the Englishmen. Hope the newly crowned vice captain - James Anderson and the wily Stuart Broad will make the pink Kookaburra swing to their tunes in the day-night Test.

While the Boxing day duel at Melbourne will be keenly fought, the hosts could prevail over 5 days, the New Year's at Sydney could well be Nathan Lyon's way of saying happy 2018 for the Aussies.

Players to look out for

Of course quite predictably the numero-uno left-arm swing bowler in the world Mitchell Starc will be spearheading the Aussie attack, but shall look out for the Josh Hazlewood and Pat Cummins to wreck havoc on the English batting that will sorely miss Ben Stokes.

England will bank heavily on skipper Joe Root, but I shall also look out for old war horse Alastair Cook, new found delight Mark Stoneman, the mercurial Jonny Bairstow and the ever reliable all-rounder Moeen Ali to spring some special performances.

It is the Australian batting that is bereft of the usual star-studded line up. Skipper Steve Smith will have to shoulder more than the usual responsibility. David Warner will lead from the front, hopefully. I am big fan of the Sunrisers Hyderabad skipper and would love to see him score a few tons in this edition. Then there are Shaun March and Glen Maxwell, who will do well to improve their reputation.

I somehow see a 4-0 series win for Australia in this Ashes down under!

As always, I would love end with the same cliche that I used for my earlier Ashes posts:

November 23, 2017 is a day of reckoning, an eagerly awaited date for the connoisseurs of the game, for this will decide whether the longest version of the game will bite the dust or rise from the Ashes.

-------------------------------- pics : Internet----------------------------

तुझको चलना होगा... तुझको चलना होगा...

मैं जब भी यहाँ आता हूँ... यहाँ पर घंटों बैठा रहता हूँ, और देखता रहता हूँ इस नदी के बहते हुवे पानी को... यह चौड़ा पहाड़ और दो किनारे जो हमेशा एक दूसरे से उतनी ही दूर

... यह मांझी... यह कश्ती... और यह लहरों पे लहराता हुवा नाचता हुवा गीत...

मैं जब भी इस गीत को सुनता हूँ ... तो मुझे ऐसे लगता है जैसे मेरा इनके साथ एक बहुत पुराना मेल है... जैसे इस धारा के साथ मुझे भी कहीं और जाना है...

कहीं दूर जाना है... जैसे मुझे भी किसी नाव का इंतेज़ार है... किसी माझी की ज़रूरत होती है |