Confessions of a flawed perfectionist - II

Anger - Its Just one letter short of Danger 

.... and YES there is surely no place for Modesty 

My penchant for punctuality is just one aspect of my path to perfectionism!

 

Here I delve upon another of my weaknesses that I’ve drawn strength from, actually its strange that this seems more of a justification of a wrong rather than confessing to it as a wrong!

 

I have had a very independent upbringing, quite a luxury in my times, when parental and peer pressure was paramount in the growing up years – and which has reached dizzy levels in the present generation.

 

My parents had not much say in what I did after my X std, absolutely no say whatever. I pursued my education on my own terms; they never knew where my college was, leave alone my marks. That I had topped the languages in my first year of graduation was not known to them nor the fact that I had to repeat all my 3 optionals to get into the next year.

 

The three years of graduation was one good long joy ride that brought with it the hardening of the person. I became witty and gregarious, articulate in speech and writing, an extrovert who made every gathering lively - but then the one aspect that set me apart from my father and which is one of my major weaknesses is my anger. Yes… I kept telling the world around me that its just one letter short of Danger – and I could never control my short temper. I have faced many situations which have left people red faced and me in poor light all thanks to my anger.

 

Anger was uninvited manifestation that usually left me wondering if it was avoidable, could be eradicated, very frankly I had no answers. Time flew I had gathered more friends and more reasons to enjoy, more reasons to entertain and get entertained, I moved along carrying lots of memories, knowledge and in the process wisdom that made me think saner with every passing day. But I also carried the excess baggage in all earnest, without letting it go, the anger persisted.

 

But then time has been a great healer, on the threshold of getting into the 40s I’ve never felt any younger than now, and yes wiser having learnt to harness the anger into positive energy. Not that I’ve mastered it… but the intensity has surely come down!

 

There has been lot of talk of calling myself a perfectionist – well to set the record straight – I consider myself one of those who has been striving hard to be a Perfectionist – in everything I do, so this rejoinder on my own blog is also an exercise towards that.

I’ll be back recounting more experiences – or should I continue calling them ‘confessions’?